Think about how you want to work this in your relationship, and in your life. Be sure to use extra latex-safe lubricant with the condom, and put a generous amount of lube on and around the entire vulva. Also, before you even have intercourse, you could have broken your hymen when using tampons, during masturbation or even with strenuous exercise. But most commonly, pain or bleeding isn't about the hymen at all.
When you're pulling the penis out of the vagina, you'll want to hold onto the base of the condom so it doesn't slip off before you're ready for it to come off. If that happens, you will want to be aware that you may have an STI or pregnancy risk to attend to. No matter how you try and break down a gate like this, it just isn't going to open, so you'll need to go and see a doctor or gynecologist to deal with it. He may, for instance, have trouble maintaining erection, and that's fine and good too -- if you still want to be sexually intimate, just move to another activity in which an erection isn't required. You may find you have to do this any number of times, and since it should still be enjoyable and intimate, there is absolutely no need to apologize for it. It may be that it wasn't what you expected, or that it made you see a different side of your partner you're unfamiliar with or uncertain about. Though intercourse isn't anything even remotely close to as painful or intensive for your body as labor, the best thing for both of you to do is to breathe. Take nice deep breaths, and keep 'em steady. It can be helpful to be clear that you need he or she to be patient, and communicate with you as you go, as you will with them. In general, this can be easily avoided by making it a habit to urinate both before and after sexual intercourse. A less-than-ideal first time doesn't mean anyone made a mistake, that you're doomed to substandard sex evermore, or that had your first time been with someone else, in another time or place, that things would have been vastly different. The same holds true for your partner. Sex aside, it's not really healthy or comfortable to go through life with that sort of hymen, so you may need a surgeon or doctor to make an incision before you can do any of these things. That doesn't mean it wasn't good, that anyone failed, or that anything is wrong. It is entirely likely you'll feel a lot of different things, just as you often do with other types of sex. Let's unpack this a little. An, "Oh, that's what this is and this is what it feels like. Above all else, celebrate it in whatever way feels best to you, and take a look at this step in your life with thought to what pace you want to take with it now. Most women don't , and that's not usually just because a male partner isn't maintaining erection for long enough or because he's not doing the right things. Sex can mean different things to different people and there a few different ways you can 'have sex'. It may be difficult to work out where everything goes, it may hurt a little or even end before you know it! Use physical clues — moan lightly, give them a knowing smile or whisper in their ear. A lot of us have grown up with the idea that virginity is something tangible, that it's highly valuable, and that it's something we give to someone or take from someone else. All of that is okay. Even the first time.
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