One of my favorite kinds of hands-on coaching sessions with couples is demonstrating just how slow I mean by showing it on the receiver, and then guiding the giver as they practice it. Touch Them With Care In addition to being full of sensitive nerves, the anus is a place where a lot of people hold many different emotions. First, the internal anal muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system. The best way to keep that from happening is to go super slow and invite their ass to relax.
And even folks who have plenty of experience with anal play can sometimes not be into it because they had a rough day. That gives you the room to focus on how you touch them and what you communicate to them through your fingers. Let Go Of Your Expectations When most people think of anal sex, they assume it means intercourse or at the very least, penetration. Tristan also made three great how-to movies: One of the most important things you can do to make anal sex fun is to touch your partner with care. A lot of people like the way that that stretch can feel. Anytime those folks decide that they want to explore anal pleasure, I tell them that these four steps are essential. That creates more relaxation and expands their capacity to feel good. The nerves in and around the ass are exquisitely sensitive, so they have a lot of erotic potential. The more pressure you put on your partner or yourself for a particular outcome, the more difficult it can be to enjoy the erotic possibilities because the resulting stress can get in the way. And when those emotions are linked to past experiences of painful sex or sexual trauma, they can be held even more tightly. You can also come to one of my workshops on anal play , which I teach all over the US and Canada. Third, there are two distinct sensations that can affect how someone enjoys anal play. My book and workshops have all of the how-to tips to make it pleasurable, but the right attitude is even more important than the technical skills. This is especially important for folks who are just beginning to explore anal play. Think of it as making the new thing a side dish rather than the main course. You can find out more about that here. Arousal makes things feel better, and doing something that you know you like makes it feel safer. Even slower than that. Unfortunately, when viewers copy what they see on the screen, they can easily hurt themselves or their partners. One of my favorite kinds of hands-on coaching sessions with couples is demonstrating just how slow I mean by showing it on the receiver, and then guiding the giver as they practice it. Fortunately, there are some great resources out there. The more you can follow the pleasure without expecting any specific route, the more you and your partner will enjoy anal play. Even folks who are very experienced with anal play can enjoy the experience more when you start off slowly. Touch Them With Care In addition to being full of sensitive nerves, the anus is a place where a lot of people hold many different emotions.
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